Seven and a half years ago we excitedly dreamed of October 1. We expected to welcome a little girl to our family as fall arrived. We would be adding another October birth to our family celebrations. My brother would have a niece to share his birthday.
We blissfully dreamed of the sweet baby who would be the light of our lives. She would be my parents' first granddaughter, a baby sister for our toddler who proudly wore his "Big Brother" shirt, a little girl to add sugar and spice to our home. We dreamed of adding October 1 to our short list of best days ever. But instead of welcoming our precious daughter on October 1, we held her and cried as we said goodbye on May 23. Our sweet dreams for our daughter turned into a parent's worst nightmare with her preterm birth and death.
Oh, October 1st! What promise you once held! I wish so much that Elena was here to share this day with her uncle. I wish we were celebrating two birthdays today. Instead I dream of our reunion in heaven someday. What a special birthday it will be when I finally get to celebrate it with you!
Sweet Elena, today should have been your 7th birthday. Seven! How is that possible? I always wonder if you would have been my girly-girl in a house full of boys or if you would have disliked dolls and dresses and ribbons and preferred instead cars and jeans and t-shirts. What I wouldn't give to know! To hug you tight and kiss your blond head and love you so much no matter who you became. I may not get to hold your hand here on earth, but I will love you forever and can't wait to wrap you in my arms again someday and never have to say goodbye again. Until then, I will keep you in my dreams and in my heart.
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