The Journey

I am still very new to the blogosphere. Had Elena lived, I probably would not have even started blogging (not yet, at least). But I suppose that it how the journey works - my life is changed in so many ways because Elena is gone from us (blogging being such a superficial example). Anyway, I decided to try to link up with Still Standing for The Journey in June.  The focus of the link up is to share where we are on the journey.

It has been one year and 13 days since Elena was born. Elena was beautiful and perfect, but she was born too early to survive. We were blessed with a little over 2 hours with our sweet baby girl before she returned to the arms of her Creator. I am just over a year down the road of this journey.  Some days are gentler than others.  The milestone days (such as her due date, the anniversary of my hospitalization, her birthday) and holidays are difficult, as most would probably expect, but sometimes just a regular day can hit me like a ton of bricks.  Sometimes I want to scream that it is all so terribly unfair.  I believe the death of a child is probably every parent’s worst nightmare, yet it is my reality, every single day.  I try to choose not to focus on it being “unfair;” after all, it does nothing to change the situation, nor does it bring any comfort.  Instead, I try to choose to focus on the blessing that Elena was, that Elena continues to be in our lives.  I choose to teach my almost three year ways to remember and show love for his little sister.  I choose to allow Elena’s brief life to positively impact the world on an ongoing basis.  I choose to remember my daughter with love and joy and pride.  And I choose to grieve with hope, hope that Elena’s life will touch others and, most importantly, hope that we will embrace our sweet princess again when we are reunited in our Eternal home.