I find that I am still struggling lately. I am really missing
Elena, and I have had a lot of anger about her death recently.
Last Friday I took a (very short) nap on the
floor in my oldest's room while he played. I only slept about 10 minutes, but I
dreamt about Elena. In my dream I relived her death. She gasped for breath but
couldn't breathe. It was so real.
I am so very thankful we had time with
Elena on earth, but watching your child die...suffice it to say that it is the
hardest thing I have ever endured. It's difficult to have those images in my
head. And it's hard to shake the nightmares off.
I'm so sorry that you had to re-live Elena's death. That happened to me a couple weeks after Gabriel died... I had this strange dream that he was still alive and I rushed to the mortuary to get him but as soon as I picked him up, he died in my arms. Obviously it wasn't real, but it's still really hard to have dreams like that. ((HUGS))
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